A banana is moving in my dreams like a Windows computer screensaver, when I am jerked awoken to my very aggressive sounding phone ringtone.
I roll in bed till I am ready to be up and prepare some breakfast.
I think I’ve been having anxiety from coffee, or I have been too cold and so giddy, so I decide to skip coffee and go straight for a bowl of oats.
I bought soft apricots couple of days ago which I add to my regular oat mix. I like the colour and the look of it, and excited to try it.
It has a slightly pungent flavour which I am not into. It won’t find a place in my porridge next time.
I am quick to finish the porridge and make myself ready to head to my studio. The cardamom and motivational message from the Yogi tea will have to cover it for my lack of coffee today, I tell myself.
As soon as I get to the studio, I fix myself a tea.
I feel calm, and it soothes my throat which has been itchy since the morning. I forgot to turn the heating off last night so my throat is all dried up.
It’s 11:30, my body is drooping and my legs feel heavy. I need some caffeine. I run down to the kitchen to make some tea. My rationale is that the caffeine content in tea would be weaker compared to a coffee and won’t affect me much.
It soothes me for 5 minutes, until it starts giving me anxiety. I’m sure now at least that it is the caffeine and not the cold that’s making me giddy. Usually when this happens I go off caffeine for a week or so, when I come back to it I have recovered from whatever it is that has been happening, that which I am unaware of.
I’ve been painting over a single spot for 15 minutes and all that’s happening is that the paint is getting lifted from the paper.
It’s a clear sign to stop and it’s way past lunch time so I put the painting aside and go downstairs to warm up my food. I had squished the remaining pizza slices from yesterday’s dinner into a tiny box for lunch.
I wait for about 7 minutes to make sure it’s heated well, and then proceed to take it out of the oven.
My riff with the oven continues today. I am being clumsy and have dropped the slices to the door. But the pizza has done just fine, It looks great and still taste really good. The cheese is even better today than yesterday.
I’m still feeling anxious, I make another Yogi tea and drink it while it’s warm.
I can’t paint much, as my back starts hurting and I lie down on my carpet. I think I should go home, but I can’t find the strength to make the journey home which seems very big today.
S calls me and helps me meditate. 20 mins in I get up and leave for home.
I got my period!
I really like how this explains everything, and I am surprised that I never see my period coming, or identify the symptoms.
Now I am doubting if I were ever feeling anxious, maybe I just got sick from the period all these days.
I am also relieved to be home as I can finally have some cough syrup for my itchy throat.
I really appreciate the ability of cough syrups to make you feel better within instants. I rely a lot on ginger and lemon concoctions when I get sick. But right now I am impatient and I want my throat to feel better instantly with the potent red syrup.
An hour later I take another spoon.
I’ve been lying down for 2 hours, and feeling rested.
I wanted to make Pulao today, but I have no energy for it. My mind goes to French toast, I’m delighted by the thought of it and it will take me 5 minutes.
I ask K if he’d like some and he says he’s never had them. He sees me cooking it and his only suggestion is “i like crispy”.
There’s sumac and black pepper for a savoury version, and maple syrup for sweet.
K is very impressed, so am I, always, with the abilities of French toast.
I plan to drink lots of warm water tonight.
Since my final diagnosis of my giddiness has been awarded to my period, I’m very happy to conclude that I will continue to drink a warm cup of coffee tomorrow morning.
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