Sinae (she/her) is an illustrator living in London, who does full time design work at a skin-care company and this is her food of the week. For more, visit @carrotate
Sinae also runs Fortified with Kate.
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I am working from home today. The morning started very early, typing up my first dispatch in bed. This bed, a fruitful result of 5 hours of labouring over and thumbing the manual. I now understand why so many people like to write in their bed.
It is around 6.40 then I turn the alarm off and walk out for a walk in the park near mine. Thinking about some of the text conversations and feelings that they gave me. The feelings still remain in my body. Some I want to keep, while some, I want to dust off, so they stop brushing me in a funny angle.
S and L drop by and I ask if they would like some coffee since I am making some for myself. I give S a quarter mug of coffee as she said she only wants, a litttle bittt.
Then she has to dash off so I pour my portion of coffee back to the beige spotty mug S held. I carry the mug to my desk, logging into the outlook. It says I am online and available.
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Day busies itself. Some teas and encouraging words sharing, checking in with each other, ‘I am heading out for a food shopping, do you need anything?’
‘These shirts, I used to like maybe still like but I never wear them. Keep or Donate?’
‘Absolutely Donate.’
Work’s been busy and I cannot wait to run to my forest as I clock out at 5. I spent the whole day fairly alone, but I wasn’t alone on my own terms. I want to find the forest to be solidly alone. Offline, moving body. I hear myself breathing, feet touching the ground, people coming in and out of the shop with their plastic bag full of stuff. I notice myself notice and see things. It is like, spending time with different parts of myself. Do you hear that? Body heats up and reminds me of how nice it is to be using my body for my own pleasure. I feel stronger and firmer. I run a cold shower then sit in bed, reading.
***
I am reading Animal Joy by Nuar Alsadir in bed for another hour then head to the kitchen. Alsadir talks on living hotter. How to lean into the incalculable and the unpackaged assemble of your emotions and feelings so we reveal the erotics in us. The juices and saps.
I have been hungry for a while. Walking out to the kitchen. I’ve earned some food food through the body work as well as brain work.
Bring a pot of water to boil for pasta. Blitz spinach with olive oil, water, salt, lemon juice, garlic and some pasta water. The spinach sauce came from J, who asked me what I cook for dinner on my first time meeting him. As I fumble my way around tracing my drowsy evenings filled with plates of some assemblages of vegetables, chickpeas and greens, he said, in return, he likes to cook gnocchi with spinach sauce. The following day, I walk to Argos and buy myself a blender. I have been enjoying the green sauce on my dinner plates ever since then.
I want as less washing-up as possible. I butter the same pot that pasta was cooked in, add chopped garlic and leek that is chopped very roughly. Let them cook and caramelise, throw some snap peas and swish around.
Add the spinach sauce, pasta and some chickpeas. Loads of pepper and extra squeeze of lemon. Eat while thinking about what I would cook for dinner tomorrow. J is coming over for dinner tomorrow.
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